(no subject)

Inspired by a conversation elsejournal, I decided to create a new icon for those times when someone just really needs a good, hard kick in the shins to possibly impart Clue[tm]. Behold, the Pointy-toed Boots of Reason:



I've noticed I have a disproportionately high percentage of icons which relate to being cranky, make of that what you will.

(no subject)

I've decided I'm like a cat, always wanting to be on the other side of the door. If I'm living alone, I want to be living with someone else. If I'm living with someone, I chafe at the constant company and want nothing more than to be alone. If I'm not dating someone or if I only have a long-distance relationship, I dream of having someone there to be with; when I have a local partner, I don't like the feeling of not being able to do things when/where/with whom I want without checking in with someone else first. Of course it never starts out like that and I don't mean to imply that I necessarily feel that way all the time, but the discontent tends to lurk there in the background, just waiting for the right moment to make me consciously aware of its presence. It's been calling to me quite clearly recently, whispering in my ear about how wonderful it would be to pack up a backpack and run off to London, how I would have no one to answer to and I could revel in my freedom for a while. Okay, maybe not London since that would present me with an entirely different variety of discontent I'm afraid. (I can manage not to obsess while on the same continent, but I don't think I could avoid it in the same city.) Sydney? Auckland? Rome? I realize full well however that it wouldn't make me happy for long. I'd miss my cat, I'd miss my friends, I'd miss the comfortable familiarity of the place I've called home for so long. Even though I have a strong desire to stretch my wings and fly away, I don't think I could actually do it.

Sometimes I wonder if my never seeming to be content for long is a sign that I just haven't found myself in the right situation yet, or if it's indicative of something deeper within my personality. Maybe I'm not meant to ever stop wondering whether the grass really is greener on the other side of the fence or if it's just a trick of the light? I don't know.

Since I just know I'm going to be asked: this is not an attempt to communicate with anyone, this is just noodling on why I seem to work the way I do. I'm trying to get back to feeling less like I have to self-censor what I post here.