GeeCee's Not-Entirely-Original Miscellany

So at my physical, my lab results returned a TSH result of something north of 5. My NP says "that looks like early hypothyroidism, you should go get a second lab done in a month to double-check". (To me, TSH of 5+ seems pretty straightforward hypothyroidism, but what do I know?) So okay, I went back last week and got another blood draw. Today's email brought a "your thyroid test was normal, recheck in a year"; the number they gave me this time was 2.72. (Is that significant a drop without any treatment likely? I honestly don't know.)

See, the thing is, the diagnosis of possible hypothyroidism was kind of reassuring. In the last several months, I've been noticing that I am having a very hard time remembering things. As just one example, I had a dental appointment on March 1 to get my permanent crowns installed. I forgot completely and entirely about it until I found the appointment card more than a week later. (For some reason they started calling my house instead of my cell phone, and I never got the confirmation voice mails.) I forget tasks unless I write them down on a notepad that's hanging in front of my face. I can't remember if I took medications, I forget directions, I forget random things that there's no reason I shouldn't know off the top of my head. I also forgot about the rescheduled multi-hour dental appointment I had today until I saw a note on my calendar at home, and then I couldn't remember whether the time had changed since the original appointment until they called on Saturday.

On top of all that, I've been feeling like I'm noticeably stupider than I was, oh, even less than a year ago. In addition to the faulty memory, I'm feeling like my brain is getting sluggish and foggy more often than not. Okay, maybe some of that is a result of getting older, but I don't think that's all of it. There are also a few other possible physical symptoms that seem to match up with things I've noticed in the last few months.

I need to make an appointment to talk to Marie about these labs. Because frankly, if the problem isn't hypothyroidism, the mental issues scare me.

Today is Prickle-Prickle, the 11st day of Discord in the YOLD 3171

If I ever end up in a persistent vegetative state with no hope of improvement, my most fervent wish is that my loved ones do not let me be used as a political pawn in the way Terri Schiavo has been. Like that "get your war on" strip says, “[My living will] says that if I fall into a persistent vegetative state, and Tom DeLay comes within a hundred miles of me, I am to turn into a zombie and rip his fucking head off”. Not that I think I personally would ever come to the attention of Congress (although I doubt Terri ever thought she would either). I do understand Terri’s parents not wanting to give up hope — nobody wants to outlive their children — but it’s long since gone past the point where that hope was anything but futile; it’s time to accept that your daughter has been gone for many years, do your grieving, and try to move on.

The good thing that’s come out of watching this should-be-private drama unfold in such a messy, public fashion is that it’s a real kick in the ass to get some sort of advance directives drawn up. My partner and I are not married, and if something were to happen to me today my legal guardian would be my brother or sister as my closest living relatives. I haven’t discussed this topic with either of them. I suppose technically I haven’t really discussed it concretely with anyone. I’m only in my mid-30s, I find it far too easy to think that I’ve got all the time in the world to worry about making a will, or anything of the sort. That’s exactly how Terri Schiavo ended up in this situation though; at 26, who wants to think about the fact that you’re not immortal? If she had drawn up a living will, this situation would’ve unfolded quietly and privately years ago, the same way so many similar cases do every single day.

For the record, once it becomes clear that there is no hope of recovery, I do not want to spend years hooked up to a feeding tube or a ventilator. If what makes me really me is no longer there, I don’t want the people who love me to spend months or years clinging to what’s an essentially empty shell. That said, I’d really appreciate it if there is absolutely no doubt about my chances before the tubes are pulled. =) I have nightmares sometimes about being trapped in an unresponsive body while being aware of everything going on around me; if the relevant portions of my brain have been replaced by liquid though, I think it would be safe to assume that is not what’s going on.

• An overview of Advance Directives and Do Not Resuscitate Orders, from the American Academy of Family Physicians


• A discussion of Advance Directives (PDF) from The National Council on Ageing (http://www.ageconcern.org.uk).


• Partnership for Caring offers state-specific advance directive documents, although they ask you to register with them in order to receive the documents. (I’m pleased to note that you have to specifically opt in to receive their email, rather than having to opt out.)


• The US Living Will Registry also links to state-specific advance directive forms without any registration requirement for the ones I spot-checked.

[Cloned (mostly) from the blahg.]

I went in for a physical today, and I walked out with a piece of paper directing me where to go for my first mammogram. I suppose it's getting harder and harder to deny that I really am getting older. (To be fair, my mother and my grandmother both had breast cancer, so I need to start with them sooner than I might otherwise. I'll keep telling myself that. ;) ) Otherwise, I appear to be as reasonably healthy as can be expected, other than waiting to see what the results of the blood sugar/thyroid/cholesterol/etc. screenings say. Would've been nice if they'd told me when scheduling my appointment that I was supposed to fast this morning. Oops. At least I managed to not get myself overly drunk on the nice bottle of scotch I opened last night The next month will probably see me making more medical appointments than I have in the last two years. Oh joy. How much do I love going to the doctor?