kidnap the sandy claws!

Today is Sweetmorn, day 44 in the season of The Aftermath, 3269.

A sudden attack of "holiday season, woohoo!" just hit me. I took the Christmas carol quiz meme (I was apparently some carol I've never even heard of), signed up for a Secret Winter-Holiday-of-Choice-Icon gift exchange thing, and will probably go haul decorations out of storage tonight or tomorrow. (Oh yeah, and I bought two Hello Kitty ornaments at Le Target last night; I've long since given up on the idea of having a completely color-coordinated tree.) Oddly though, I have almost no desire to go shopping. This is...very odd, for me. Shopping is one of those things that is almost guaranteed to lift my spirits (assuming I'm not trying to buy myself summer clothes). Not right now, though; I almost dread going to the maul. Weird. Luckily I have the Bookmark File o'Doom and a credit card, I don't have to leave the house and fight my way through hordes of shoppers all fighting to get the last Hokey Pokey Elmo. ;)

On the topic of gifts, once again I'd be totally happy if people just made small donations to Best Friends animal sanctuary or the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation if they felt compelled to give me something. I can never really come up with a good way to say that to anyone though that doesn't make me feel weird; I can't help but feel like by expressing that preference I sound like I'm expecting people to want to give me gifts. I truly don't. And for those of you receiving gifts from me, please believe that they are given to you because I want to, not because I expect reciprocation from you or because I feel obligated to for any reason.

Another tangent: I really want to have or go to a party over the holiday season that involves getting dressed up. I haven't worn a party frock and heels in a long time, and I'm feeling a desire to spiff myself up for an evening. Whether I can get anyone else to go along with this idea or not, I have no idea.

(no subject)

My first Christmas tree of my very own was actually not a tree at all. It was my first Christmas living alone after college and I was dirt poor; I made enough money to rent half a basement (finished, if you consider having wood panel up, a concrete floor, a tiny bathroom and shower, and a door to separate you from the washer and dryer as being "finished"), but I didn't have much left over after rent and commuting costs to my job in Georgetown. The room, as you might've gathered from my description, was dark (I had one of those half-windows near the ceiling, so no natural light, and a floor lamp) and very cold and generally dreary. Even if I could've afforded so much as a Charlie Brown tree, I had no room for it. I needed something to lift my spirits; Rob and I had finally broken up for good this time, I didn't have many friends in the area that I was at all close to and I had just started dating D. a few weeks previously, not long enough to feel confident of spending lots of time together over the holidays quite yet. I was really lonely. On an impulse at CVS one day I picked up some fake pine garland, a string of lights, some cheap gold and silver painted glass ornaments and a string of gold and silver metallic leaf-shaped garland. I got home and tacked the pine garland and lights up on the wall next to my bed in a vague tree shape, and added the ornaments. It was amazing how a small thing like that made me feel so much less lonely and more like Christmas might not be so miserable. I fell asleep every night I was at home through the holidays to the soft glow of those Christmas lights on my wall.

My first actual tree I bought with Nicola, when I was living in Herndon with S. Nicola was out on business near the holidays, and we went together to pick out a tree. I'd never had a live tree before, at least not when I was old enough to remember such things, and I can't describe how excited I was. (I wasn't quite so excited to still be vacuuming up pine needles in March though. *ahem*) I could start all over and pick out all my own decorations and get the coordinated tree I'd always thought I wanted after looking at all the gorgeous trees in magazines and in advertisements; I settled on a burgundy and gold theme. We put up the tree in the living room and decorated it, and I'm sure I still have a picture of it around here somewhere. I have very fond memories of that tree, for a whole host of reasons.

Since then I've had a couple more real trees, and these days I've gone back to artificial since my cat seems less inclined to claw on and climb the artificial one and as a result I'm not still finding the pine needles he's strewn all over the house in July anymore. I still have that original string of lights though, and it goes on the tree every year. One strand of that pine garland goes on the mantel with the gold and silver garland and white lights, and the other has been claimed by the cat as a year-round cat toy/hiding place. I still have the gold and burgundy ornaments and use them, but have given up my insistence on coordination in favor of adding things that more express our personalities -- for instance, the topper for our tree last year wasn't a star or an angel, it was C.'s Death (or was it Delirium? I don't remember, and I know they were both on the tree.) stuffed doll, and the year before that it was a stuffed Grinch. It's all about finding and starting your own traditions. (But I think I may incorporate older traditions by asking my sister to send me a couple of the spray-painted macaroni-on-cardboard or clothespin angel ornaments we all made in kindergarten that my mom kept just as carefully as she did the good glass ornaments.)

(Psst. If you'd like a winter [holiday|non-holiday] card, give me your mailing address.)