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Nov. 19th, 2002 05:13 pmToday is Pungenday, day 31 in the season of The Aftermath, 3268.
Weird headspace today. My head hurts, I'm having a hard time concentrating, and I just want to go home and take a nap. I'm finding myself having to reread email with action items two or three times to fully comprehend them, that's not a good sign. I think it could just be exhaustion from a week-plus of "processing" (until the wee hours on many occasions), plus losing a pet, plus allergies or a cold coming on, plus feeling a strange pang of lack-of-specific-closure after a chance encounter a couple of weekends ago that I apparently wasn't as prepared for as I thought I might be. I started to type up a reply to a thread in someone else's journal about relationships and reassurances and feelings of security, but I got babblingly incoherent halfway through, so I put it aside. I also managed to have an entire conversation with someone last night in which I was a rambling, babbling id10t and I wish I could forget it ever happened. I'm sure it wasn't as bad as I thought, but did we ever have that feedback loop going on and making us both not terribly fun to converse with.
They're playing "Immigrant Song" on the radio, and I can't stop myself from picturing Viking kittens every time I hear this song now. Squee!!! They have Viking kitten tshirts!
Today, I want:
* to curl up with my sweeties and take a nap,
* to get my wireless connection working at home so that I can be online from downstairs in the comfy chair,
* to go make the wall of guinea pigs at the pet store all purr in unison again by making purring noises in their direction
* to not process anything
* to have someone brush my hair and sing to me until my headache disappears
In the meantime, I should finish up some stuff here so I can start to ponder going home.
Weird headspace today. My head hurts, I'm having a hard time concentrating, and I just want to go home and take a nap. I'm finding myself having to reread email with action items two or three times to fully comprehend them, that's not a good sign. I think it could just be exhaustion from a week-plus of "processing" (until the wee hours on many occasions), plus losing a pet, plus allergies or a cold coming on, plus feeling a strange pang of lack-of-specific-closure after a chance encounter a couple of weekends ago that I apparently wasn't as prepared for as I thought I might be. I started to type up a reply to a thread in someone else's journal about relationships and reassurances and feelings of security, but I got babblingly incoherent halfway through, so I put it aside. I also managed to have an entire conversation with someone last night in which I was a rambling, babbling id10t and I wish I could forget it ever happened. I'm sure it wasn't as bad as I thought, but did we ever have that feedback loop going on and making us both not terribly fun to converse with.
They're playing "Immigrant Song" on the radio, and I can't stop myself from picturing Viking kittens every time I hear this song now. Squee!!! They have Viking kitten tshirts!
Today, I want:
* to curl up with my sweeties and take a nap,
* to get my wireless connection working at home so that I can be online from downstairs in the comfy chair,
* to go make the wall of guinea pigs at the pet store all purr in unison again by making purring noises in their direction
* to not process anything
* to have someone brush my hair and sing to me until my headache disappears
In the meantime, I should finish up some stuff here so I can start to ponder going home.