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tower of babble
May. 3rd, 2002 04:29 pmToday is Pungenday, day 50 in the season of Discord, 3268.
It is the sacred Season Holyday of Discoflux.
Grumble, I think my ISP is having "issues" again; it's been at least an hour since any mail came in (keep in mind I'm on a couple of high-volume mailing lists, so I don't go even 20 minutes without having at least one piece of mail, plus I sent test messages from two different accounts).
For some reason, I find myself unable to make the vaguely flirtatious comment I want to make to someone; I seem to be utterly incapable of doing anything even resembling flirting with a woman, even when the statement in question would be completely true even if it didn't have the potential to sound like I was flirting. That made pretty much no sense, but at least I know what I mean, if no one else does. The upshot is, I can't tell her that I think she's beautiful, even with a perfect set-up for it. Unless, er, I just did. Extremely indirectly. Or something. D'oh. *laugh* See, I'm terrified to even lightheartedly flirt with someone (a general someone, I don't have anyone specific in mind with this statement) if I think there's any chance at all that it's unwelcome because, y'know, there's these self-esteem issues and how could I possibly think that it would be welcome and...yeah. Stop. That way lies madness. And I seem to be completely unable to read women in that context, although I sometimes manage to scrape together a clue with men. Since I can't read women well, I'm scared to try flirting, and so I don't get any practice at reading reactions, and so I remain scared to try...
I don't think I really had too much point to this, and it shows, but I'm keeping my mind off of creepy stuff that's going on here at work and that's a good thing
It is the sacred Season Holyday of Discoflux.
Grumble, I think my ISP is having "issues" again; it's been at least an hour since any mail came in (keep in mind I'm on a couple of high-volume mailing lists, so I don't go even 20 minutes without having at least one piece of mail, plus I sent test messages from two different accounts).
For some reason, I find myself unable to make the vaguely flirtatious comment I want to make to someone; I seem to be utterly incapable of doing anything even resembling flirting with a woman, even when the statement in question would be completely true even if it didn't have the potential to sound like I was flirting. That made pretty much no sense, but at least I know what I mean, if no one else does. The upshot is, I can't tell her that I think she's beautiful, even with a perfect set-up for it. Unless, er, I just did. Extremely indirectly. Or something. D'oh. *laugh* See, I'm terrified to even lightheartedly flirt with someone (a general someone, I don't have anyone specific in mind with this statement) if I think there's any chance at all that it's unwelcome because, y'know, there's these self-esteem issues and how could I possibly think that it would be welcome and...yeah. Stop. That way lies madness. And I seem to be completely unable to read women in that context, although I sometimes manage to scrape together a clue with men. Since I can't read women well, I'm scared to try flirting, and so I don't get any practice at reading reactions, and so I remain scared to try...
I don't think I really had too much point to this, and it shows, but I'm keeping my mind off of creepy stuff that's going on here at work and that's a good thing
