(no subject)

[geekchick]

[M]ost of my friends hadn't had a daddy like mine, who said things like, Don't confuse intensity of emotion with quality of emotion, baby, when I'd gotten tangled up with class heartbreaker Tommy Ralston. The more he'd hit on my girlfriends, the harder I'd worked to keep him. It was like I was addicted to whatever made me feel most intensely, even though it was hurting me. (Mac, in Dreamfever by Karen Marie Moning)

*blink* *blink*

It was like I was addicted to whatever made me feel most intensely, even though it was hurting me.

Damn. There's a smack upside the head. Surely didn't expect to get a peek inside my own head like that while reading a paranormal series about fighting Unseelie. [Edit: In particular, there's a situation I find myself in where that sentence above as written is pretty much spot-on what is going on, now that I step back half a step and take a look at it. It is, in many respects, absolutely terrible for me and my mental health, and yet I haven't been able to extract myself from it due to lack of any serious attempt.]

Comments

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

Don't confuse intensity of emotion with quality of emotion

That part just smacked me around quite a bit as well. Ouch, but in a good way.

[geekchick]

Yeah, while reading last night that's where I first went "Hmmm", followed immediately by the "Here's your sign" bit.

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

I think realizing part of this awhile back is why I made choices to stop riding the drama llama. Doesn't always work, but this is worded perfectly as a clue-bat for me :-D

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Hm. That has interesting implications. And smacks me likewise, I think.

It also seems to invoke "what is bdsm about, underneath?" in some way. People who do things like, say, needle-play or snappy impacts are getting intensity... (more contemplation).

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

I don't know how much it ties into BDSM, though, since it's referencing emotion, which I honestly don't see as being that tied into sensation play like needle or impact. Not sure how it would play into humiliation-type situations, since I have no experience in (or desire for) those kinds of scenes. But the intensity of BDSM play doesn't seem to be as connected to relationship emotions, IMO. YMMV, of course.

What smacked me the most about this was the intensity we both have acknowledged feeling about the other, and how it kept us both trying way after we should have let go, and how I have this continual pattern running through my most painful relationships. It's like the intensity is so great, so much a focus of momentary good feeling, but also plays into insecurity, fear, and anger.

I'm attempting to share insight, not picking on your or trying to assign blame/right or wrong/etc. Just wanted to be sure you understood that. I'm addressing how it affected me with you to give you more food for thought. If you have any desire to pick this apart more privately with me, feel free.

[also-huey.livejournal.com]

It seemed perfectly natural to me for such a long time to be the life of the party that it took me half my adult life to discover that I would much rather be boring.

Now I'm boring. And happier.

Thumbs-up

[geekchick]

I would mash the "like" button repeatedly if there was such a thing here.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

I used to tell my partners, "don't bore me".

And then I grew up some more.