(no subject)

[geekchick]

Oh. Dear. God.

Courtesy of illandaria, "If The Lord of the Rings had been written by someone else"

GANDALF:
I do not want your bread and jam.
I’m busy being mad at Sam.
He likes to sneak. He likes to spy.
I’ll grind him up for hobbit pie!

FRODO:
Oh, do not grind him up for pie!
He is a pretty handy guy.
He mows my grass. He paints my gate.
He is my friend. We both are straight.
[...]

Ah, someone had to do it: in the style of John Norman, "Ringbearer of Mordor". *snerch*

Comments

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

I had seen some of these on The Straight Dope message board quite some time ago. I'm amused someone took the time to organize them! :-)