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TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Week of September 6, 2001

If I were king of the world, I'd banish the archetype of the tormented genius. I'd discourage journalists and biographers from glamorizing the lives of depressed jerks who make great art. Whenever a writer or musician announced that he felt most inspired when miserable, I would unleash the Official Royal Yawn. Unfortunately, I probably won't be king of the world any time soon, so I'll have to pursue a more grassroots approach. Will you Tauruses please help me? You're currently immersed in the most smoothly fertile time of your astrological cycle, so it should come natural. Our patron saint will be singer-songwriter P.J. Harvey. She says: "When I'm contented, I'm more open to receiving a lot of inspiration. I'm most creative when I feel safe and happy."

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Today's score: shiny purple jacquard pants from Lane Bryant. Three pairs left, two of which were my size. I failed to notice the additional percentage off redlines sign though, so it was a pleasant surprise when they rang up for $8.00 instead of the $19.99 that I was perfectly happy to pay. Woo! I should be surprised with 60% off sales more often, I think.