(no subject)

Insecurity strikes again. Today was the second time I've asked this person about a particular event which I had wanted to attend with him, only to receive a noncommittal answer (or rather, "yes, I'm going, but gottaleavenowbye"). Better than last time I asked, however, since that email for all I could tell dropped into a void. I also brought up another party which I'd gotten a bit of advance notice about and just before I could ask if he'd go with me, I got "I'd better request an extra invitation because I want to take [x]." I'm terrified that I'm going to turn into an afterthought, a pleasant diversion one weekend every 6 weeks or so, and that's something I don't think I'm quite equipped to handle in this case. I'm overreacting, I know it, but I can't seem to stop. More than once I've been dumped or pushed way onto the back burner and effectively dumped by a newer relationship, so it's not that I'm pulling this potential scenario completely out of thin air. Why can't I get over this enough to just relax and enjoy the relationship? Problem being that I'm so hesitant to make any time requests that when I work up to it, getting turned down hurts that much more. Just one more way that I'm slightly broken, I guess. *sigh* Maybe getting back to the gym tomorrow morning and having Andy tell me how awesome I am for sticking with the program and pushing myself on these sets will help a little bit. Worth a try, anyway

(no subject)

You'd think that with three SO's I'd be able to find a date for a freakin' party, wouldn't you?