need more light

Sure enough, as soon as the sun disappears for a day I'm right back into the blah, vaguely unhappy state of mind. I don't rule out that it may be a self-fulfilling prophecy on my part in that I sort of expected that I might feel this way once it got overcast again. I just wish it worked as well for putting myself into an upbeat mood.

I sort of wonder what's going on with one of my sweeties. He's seemed a bit withdrawn lately, and incredibly pissy. Want to ask if everything's okay, but I like my head firmly attached to my neck as it is now, thanks. Today was definitely not the day to go anywhere near him. I'd wondered if it was just me, but other people have noticed the mood as well so it can't be just me. I know he's very protective of his alone time, so I try not to ping him when he disappears for a day or two. Our first date was a year ago Thursday, so perhaps I'll try to see if he's approachable then.

I'm considering another trip to Boston that doesn't revolve around seeing M. in December. I think it would be fun to crash with A. and P. at La Casa del Ocaso and be social if they'd be willing to lend me a sofa.

Not, of course, that I'd mind seeing M., maybe even a second visit in December. I always feel hesitant about asking if I can come visit him. The most I've ever really done is drop hints about how it would be nice, but I seem to be unable to just say "Hey, I'd like to see you the weekend of the 15th, does that work for you?" Then that starts me down the path of "why doesn't anyone ever travel to see me; why am I always the one racking up the frequent flyer miles?" Grrr. I mean, I know the answer has a lot to do with the fact that I don't live alone or with platonic housemates anymore but it still irritates me somewhat. And then I seem to have to parse it as "well, maybe the relationship means more to me than it does to person X and that's why I have to do all the travelling", but that's complete bullshit and I know it. Still can't help thinking it sometimes though. I think that's part of the reason that having D. come visit recently pleased me so much, even if his real motivation was the boat show. ;)

I could of course solve this whole travel issue by refusing to get into any more LDRs, but what fun would that be? Not to mention that I'm still adjusting to making room in my life for one local relationship, don't know exactly how I'd deal with more than one.

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I broke down and bought myself dental insurance, it should take effect at the beginning of next month. Now I should really scrape up the cash for health insurance. Open enrollment at my payrolling company should be coming up soon, but I don't get paid on a regular enough basis for that to really be effective I think. I'll probably go back to Kaiser, since it's so low-stress (but not that cheap, unfortunately). There would be something oddly funny about getting braces for my 30th birthday. Not of course that my insurance covers braces; the only ones I found that would cost an arm and a leg and had pretty restrictive pre-existing condition rules (i.e. I wouldn't be covered for pretty much anything that I suspect I need done for 18 months). Must worry about other issues first before braces though.

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I have to wonder about the perfectly healthy people who stalk parking spaces right in front of the door...At. The. Gym. What, you can only exercise when you're physically in the gym? It's gonna kill you to drive a row over to where there's a slew of empty parking spaces instead of following someone who's walking out to their car and blocking traffic while you wait for them to get in the car and pull out? That extra 15 feet of walking before your aerobics class is gonna screw up your endurance? It's not even like it's raining or really cold or anything, it's a perfectly wonderful day/evening/whatever.