If you and I ever get a chance to sit down over a few drinks, I could go on for quite a while about this one. However, we don't have that luxury right now, so I'll keep it brief.
Your final paragraph states my view very nicely. As every relationship and every individual is different, there is certainly wiggle room, and some things have to be negotiated, but I do believe that your feelings in this are right on target.
In detail:
For the most part, I consider my partners' other relationships to be none of my business. The exception comes when my relationship is being affected by the relationship with someone else. For example, my most recent ex-wife had trouble with one of her other relationships, and after a while, I got tired of acting as her therapist whenever she got home from a date. I told her, "If you decide to continue seeing him, that's fine, but I don't want to hear about how terrible it was when you get home."
I believe that anyone I'm involved with has a right to know who else I'm involved with (e.g.: "Hi, I met a woman named Velma the other night."). If they want to meet each other, I'll facilitate it, but if not, then ... not. Meeting each other is not necessary.
My personal philosophy is that each person is responsible for "managing" his/her own relationships. If I am person B, dating persons A and C, I will bristle if I feel like C is trying to manage my relationship with A. Most likely, I'll break it off with C if after letting my feelings be known, s/he continues to try to manage my relationship with A.
Been THERE
Your final paragraph states my view very nicely. As every relationship and every individual is different, there is certainly wiggle room, and some things have to be negotiated, but I do believe that your feelings in this are right on target.
In detail:
For the most part, I consider my partners' other relationships to be none of my business. The exception comes when my relationship is being affected by the relationship with someone else. For example, my most recent ex-wife had trouble with one of her other relationships, and after a while, I got tired of acting as her therapist whenever she got home from a date. I told her, "If you decide to continue seeing him, that's fine, but I don't want to hear about how terrible it was when you get home."
I believe that anyone I'm involved with has a right to know who else I'm involved with (e.g.: "Hi, I met a woman named Velma the other night."). If they want to meet each other, I'll facilitate it, but if not, then ... not. Meeting each other is not necessary.
My personal philosophy is that each person is responsible for "managing" his/her own relationships. If I am person B, dating persons A and C, I will bristle if I feel like C is trying to manage my relationship with A. Most likely, I'll break it off with C if after letting my feelings be known, s/he continues to try to manage my relationship with A.